Body Swap 2 point 0
by blueberrymuffinsandtea
Summary: Rima and Nagi switch bodies and chaos ensues, or something like that. Rewrite of my 2010 fanfic because I have finals to study for. Rated M for coarse language tbh.


**hello all, guess who's back and better than ever (me writing in all lowercase bc i'm cool and an adult). anyway it seems i will do anything to procrastinate studying for finals, even rewriting shitty fanfiction i started like 6 years ago. now without further ado, i present Body Swap 2.0 (#shoutout to daizee for sticking w me and shout out to laura for convincing me to do this)**

 **warning: rima says a slur (maybe?) and there's a lot of cussing**

The bickering could be heard even before entering the room, the couple's voices ringing down the hall (very much in that cliched anime style). "You cross dressing piece of shit, get away from me! Don't come near me again, don't talk to me…" Rima trailed off, unable to continue her train of thought, probably due to being so consumed by hatred.

"First of all, the gender binary is a shitty social construct, meaning that stupid stuff gets gendered, like clothing. I'm not even cross dressing, honestly, I just occasionally wear clothes society says only girls should wear, and that's to honor a family tradition. Anyway, what the hell did I do now?" Nagihiko asked. She remained silent. Not because she didn't want to talk to him, but because she had forgotten.

"You forgot, didn't you?" he asked, in a quite neutral tone she took as being haughty and mocking.

"Fuck off. I told you not to talk to me," she said, glaring at him.

"Are we interrupting something?" Yaya asked the pair, walking into the room. The rest of the (ex) guardians stared at the two with raised eyebrows. "Like a lover's quarrel?" Of course, Rima didn't answer, just gave her a trademark glare (one clearly saying "shut up before I kill you or torture you in a horrible way"), causing Yaya to character change and cry.

Tadase and Amu, both amused, began to laugh. Rima turned her glare on Tadase, sparing Amu (whom she loved and therefore was willing to overlook such disrespect. Also because it probably wouldn't work).

"So… Rima," Amu said, trying to change the subject and evade any conflict, "my parents said I could have a friend over on Saturday. Do you think you can come over?" (She apparently didn't realize how shitty it was to invite only one friend over in front of an entire group, but she is a kid, so c'est la vie.)

"I'll ask my parents," Rima answered, looking at her manicured nails like those Cool Girls™ in movies.

"You know, Rima, it _is_ okay for you to show emotions," Nagi piped up, ever the masochist and in need of more arguing. He probably got off on it.

"Oh my God," Rima groaned, rolling her eyes and facing him. "Literally shut the hell up before I kick your scrawny ass, Fujisaki." She was like a Pomeranian, tiny and angry.

"Are you sure you could even reach?" Nagi taunted. "Then again, I'm sure you'd just order a fanboy to do it for you."

"You're right. No need for me to waste my time on something so insignificant."

"Nice to know things don't change, no matter the years that go by," Kuukai said, now joining the group. "Here you guys are, having graduated not only elementary school but also middle school, and we still haven't matured." He shook his head, acting disappointed and pretending he didn't live for the drama now that his favorite soap had been cancelled.

"Eyyyy, Kuukai!" Yaya greeted, hugging him.

"He started it," Rima pouted, her eyes tearing up. She added a small sniff for effect.

Nagi rolled his eyes. "She's faking it again," he sang.

Instantly, her tears disappeared and were replaced with a Glare™.

Kuukai laughed. "Damn guys, it's a wonder the sexual tension hasn't gotten to you yet. It'll happen soon enough," he said, shrugging. The others laughed, minus Rima and Nagi, who were blushing and scowling.

"Whatever, I'm leaving," Rima said. "Y'all are boring."

"Awwww, we embarrassed her," Nagi teased, behind her. Fortunately for him, Rima had already left the room and couldn't go back to flip him off without ruining the dramatic exit. Also fortunately for him, Rima hadn't even glanced back, so she had no idea that he had stared at her wistfully. The others, however, were able to see and sighed fondly.

"Dude, you've got to tell her how you feel," Kuukai said. Tadase hummed in agreement.

"Bro, you never tell a girl you like her, it makes you look like an idiot," Nagi joked. "But seriously, I would if I even thought she at least liked me. The only way I can get her to pay attention to me is by making her angry," he groaned, dramatically flinging himself onto a desk. He didn't have much dating experience but he knew that that probably wasn't the healthiest way to start a romantic relationship. God fucking dammit.

 ***BeatJumper has joined the Group Chat***

BeatJumper: Anyone on?

 ***Cool-N-Spicy has joined the Group Chat***

 ***CutiePie123 has joined the Group Chat***

CutiePie123: YAS BITCH r we all here?

Cool-N-Spicy: nah rima's missing

 ***balabalance has joined the Group Chat***

balabalance: hello all ur queen has arrived

BeatJumper: Oh shit is Nicki Minaj in the group chat?

balabalance: fuck off. y is he here :\\\

BeatJumper: Well you see, my dear Rima, I am also in your history class. And we are supposed to be studying for the test tomorrow

balabalance: ew you would u nerd

CutiePie123: lmao y'all get a room

Cool-N-Spicy: tbh. but lol yaya rima will probs try to kill u if u embarrass her again

balabalance: damn right

BeatJumper: RT^

balabalance: i have u blocked on twitter :\\\\\

BeatJumper: damn really? i haven't even tried to follow u so i wouldn't know. anyway i meant amu's comment

Cool-N-Spicy: okay but can we study pls. u guys know i suck at history

CutiePie123: yeah sure let's go

Cool-N-Spicy: k what did you guys get for #2-5 on the study guide?

CutiePie123: wait hold on- amu ask ur parents if u can have friends over saturday. i found some cool experiments i want to try  
now we can start

Cool-N-Spicy: i will, but u know if i don't pass this test i will be grounded and won't be able to have anyone over for weeks :-)

CutiePie123: well then rima and nagi will do whatever it takes to have u(s) pass (bc u know i'm also shit at history xx) ;)

 **ok i literally don't know where i'm going w this**

 **i might continue this and probably shorten it idk**

 **reviews are still love, even after 6 years of being mysteriously absent xx**


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